Credit: Howard Wise/JPI (2); CBS Screenshot

I tend to binge-watch Bold & Beautiful each week, which is pretty easy to do when the episodes are only about 20 minutes long. While watching this week’s episodes, I found myself doing something that hasn’t happened in a while: looking forward to each new installment. And when Friday’s episode ended… well, let’s just say I’m borderline desperate to see what happens next! Let’s dive in… 

Free Poppy Nozawa!

Want to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that someone is innocent of murder? If they happen to be a soap character, charge them with the crime. They won’t even need an attorney, because before the case could possibly go to trial, the real killer will be exposed. Which means we should soon find out that Tom and Hollis were done in by… well, anyone except Poppy.

After she was hauled away by the police, I became incredibly annoyed with Bill. Not only did he not rush down to the station to be with Poppy as she faced this crisis, he then turned around and immediately said to supposed-daughter Luna, “Hey, I know you’re kinda freaked right now, but let’s just rip the bandage off and do another paternity test right this second… whatcha say?”

Who Is Luna’s Father?

It shouldn’t surprise anyone that the latest paternity test proved Luna’s not Bill’s daughter. As I’ve said in the past, soaps should always follow the path down which the most drama can be found. Bill being Luna’s dad is a total snooze. Now we not only get to play “Who’s the real dad?” but also, with any luck, get to see old-school Dollar Bill come roaring back.

For months now, we’ve been stuck with a kinder, gentler Bill who is, if I’m being honest, kinda boring. Love Don Diamont, but Bill is at his best when he’s firing verbal zingers at everyone in his vicinity, kicking butt and generally being a cynical wiseass. Here’s hoping this twist finds him determined to discover who pulled this con and why. Which should also put him back in Li’s orbit… a pairing I’ve loved since first they crossed paths.

… And Just Like That

Of course, absolutely everything about this story changed in the final moments of Friday’s episode. Because about 83 seconds after finding out that Bill wasn’t her dad, Luna planted a kiss on him! No, not a “Well, you’re still like a dad to me” kiss on the cheek. This had to be the most shocking soap buss since that time Bridget planted a liplock on Ridge.

This show has a long history of playing borderline incestuous relationships. They are the daytime version of a VC Andrews novel (IYKYK). But even for Bold & Beautiful, this one was a shocker. If anyone in the viewing audience (or reading this column) dares to say they saw it coming, I’ma brand them a liar.

But as reasons to tune in tomorrow — or, in this case, Monday — go, this was a doozy. Because where, exactly, does the show go from here? I’m not all that into the R.J./Luna romance, but it should be fun to watch his reaction, especially given how supportive he was in the wake of Zendegate. (Which, to be clear, is exactly the reaction R.J. should have had, given that what happened was in no way, shape or form Luna’s fault.)

More: Check out next week’s B&B spoilers!

I mean, honestly, I’m dying to see how everyone on the canvas — from Liam to Ridge — reacts to this kiss. Given that this is a show on which everything is talked about by everyone, I’m pretty sure it’s not something that’s going to stay a secret for long!

And what about that weird little smile Luna gave at the end? Anybody else suddenly wondering if maybe Luna is the one who killed Hollis and Tom? Could she be framing her mom, and if so, why?

Stay In Your Lane!

Katie worked my nerves this week, big time. Look, we all know that she will always and forever love Bill — especially when they aren’t actually together — but her determination to see Poppy punished was a bit much. What made her behavior even more exasperating was the fact that she basically called the police to say, “Hey, y’all need to arrest my ex-husband’s girlfriend” and then, when they did it, acted as if she had no clue why the cops would be so suspicious!

More: The twist we never saw coming! 

“I didn’t tell the police to arrest Poppy,” she said with a straight face, even going so far as to basically dismiss the notion of Sheila having committed the crimes. But lest I forget, Sheila is now the heroine of the show, so… carry on!

Sing It If You Know It

Danny and Cricket’s visit was equal parts cringe and fun… and maybe not in the way I might have expected. I love that they struck a deal between Danny and Forrester Creations to use his music in their ad campaigns. Think about it. How many songs from your youth have turned up in ads for everything from cars to erectile-dysfunction medications?

More: Finn’s next move could cost him Steffy!

What made zero sense to me was that when Danny gave his impromptu performance, he did almost the entire thing with his back to the Forresters, performing for us as opposed to them. It was an odd decision to say the least.

Meanwhile, the cringe came when the party turned into an over-the-top Brooke Logan lovefest. I mean, I love Hope but when she started leading the room in chanting her mom’s name, I did a full-body eye roll.

I did, however, really enjoy when Pam approached Steffy to vent about the event. “The Logans with their wiggle and their jiggle,” she snarked. “Will it ever end? Models parading around in their underwear. Really? In my beloved sister’s home?” I bought every single word of Pam’s speech.

I also really liked having Steffy step up to speak… and then kinda sorta praise Brooke. Sure, her smile was pained, but of course it was. As she later explained to Finn, Brooke’s Bedroom is making money and, as CEO, that’s what matters most to her.

Here We Go Again…

I honestly don’t know what we’re expected to think of this week’s other kiss. You know, the one where Hope decided it was a good idea to lock lips with Finn in the Forrester family living room! I wish I understood Finn’s determination to tell Steffy about what happened, but I can’t say I do.

More: Meet the residents who’ll be living behind The Gates

Finn said he doesn’t keep things from his wife, but I beg to differ. There have been numerous times in the past where, in the best interest of his marriage and his wife, he’s opted to bite his tongue. So his determination to tell Steffy doesn’t make sense…

… unless, of course, you factor in the Logan/Forrester war. Much as I’d love to never revisit that, it’s clear that with Taylor back on the canvas, we’re about to dial it up again. The only way this is going to make this particular viewer happy is if Finn confesses the kiss, Steffy fires Hope and Brooke’s daughter decides to start her own company to compete with Forrester.

Regular readers will know I’ve been dying for Bold & Beautiful to revisit its roots by creating a second fashion house to compete with Forrester. Imagine the drama if Hope were to jump ship… and see who she could take with her?

Random Thoughts

• Wouldn’t it have been nice if someone at the party had acknowledged Eric? There was months of talk about how he wasn’t being pushed aside, yet the only shout-out the Forrester patriarch — who created the company — got was a nod to him and Donna for having thrown yet another shindig.

• Donna fangirling over Danny made sense, especially when you think about where the Logan girls came from. She wasn’t to the manor born, so the idea that the little girl inside her was starstruck made sense. Her and Pam talking about going on a road trip to see one of Danny’s concerts also worked, given that the frenemies have had little adventures before. Remember when they went on Price is Right?

• Why were there models parading around in the lingerie? It was a family-only party, and everyone there certainly knows what the line looks like.

• Speaking of the line, when, exactly, did Ridge design it? Three weeks ago, he suggested they relaunch Brooke’s Bedroom and suddenly, here it is!